PREPARING YOUR PETS FOR GISH
So you have signed up for GISH. You're making twenty different macaroni and glitter sculptures a day, you're jogging round town in various costumes, you have been befriending celebrities and lulling them into a false sense of security. But have you prepared your animal friends?
You may not be able to sign up your pet as a team mate, but they help out none the less and deserve training so they are prepared for all the chaos GISH brings.
Before IÂ get started I must note that some animals will not be suitable for this training. Consider your pets age and health. If they are likely to be confused, uncomfortable or upset by this or if your animal is aggressive, stop before you begin. Nothing is more important as your best friends happiness. If you want to train your pet to be less aggressive or worried I can probably help you find someone, but for that you need professional help, not an article on the internet. Sometimes the best way to GISH is not to GISH at all.
Having said all that most pets enjoy our company and will cooperate happily for snacks and cuddles. In fact, learning to tolerate weird outfits and handling is really good for your pet. They may one day get ill and need to be bandaged or wear a cone of shame. They will probably meet people wearing or doing odd things in the course of their lives. Get your pet used to this now and they will be more confident and happy. This is what GISH is all about, doing useful things and having fun. .
THE TRAINING BIT
PAY WELL
First get some great rewards. This is fun. We don’t force any one to GISH, we invite them to help us. Great rewards get chosen by your trainee, not by you. Hell, we don’t even get to choose what rewards us. Some people will do any thing for olives. Try and make me eat olives and I will hide. Some animals are rewarded by cuddles. Try to cuddle me and I will cut you. Give me some chocolate though and I’m fairly cooperative. So...find the thing that makes your pet look like Pi does here. Use that.
STRONG FOUNDATIONS MAKE GREAT STAYS
I am going to assume your pet is completely untrained. Hopefully most of you have trained your pets a little bit! But we will start at the start so do skip anything your pet already knows. If you are absolutely certain they know it. Especially stays. Search your soul. If you are absolutely certain your pet is happy staying, and isn’t just freezing in place till you stop growling at it, move on to the next training exercise. Remember though it doesn’t hurt to work through stays again just in case. Its all quality time with your pet after all.
FREEZE!
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Find a quiet space. Get your treats out and start treating in a sit. Feed your pet in position. Just stand in front of them and treat them for staying still. If they move, stop. Don’t tell them off, just stop feeding, get them back in position and start feeding again. Only treat when they are in the position you want.
Then build up the time between treats. Give a treat, pause for a quarter of a second, then give another. Once they can wait that long, start waiting half a second, then two, and so on. If they keep getting up go back to just feeding and then try building duration again. Spend a couple of minutes doing this a few times a day. You should gradually be able to build up to a good few seconds wait between treats.
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GET MOVING
Next start moving around. Tiny movements at first please! Lean to the left and right. Move your hands. Move one foot. Then one step, then two. Build up slowly until you can walk across the room, pick up a camera, and take a photo.
Then retrain this in a different room. Then a slightly more distracting place. Can they do it in the garden? Can they do it in your car? It’s all going a bit green eggs and ham isn’t it. But seriously, once your pet can do it with a goat, on a train,in a box and in the rain, or even with baby bunnies behind them, you know they are really good at staying and it’s time to add a costume.
ADDING OUTFITS
Now comes the fun bit. You can start dressing up your pet. but wait! No full storm trooper costumes to start please. Just calmly add one thing. A new collar, a ribbon draped over their back, a scrunchie on their leg. While they wear it feed or cuddle them. Then take it straight off and stop with the treats.  If your pet is a little worried you might have to put things on the floor next to them at first rather than putting them straight on. Look for indications they are actively enjoying this game. They should start looking excited when you get out their costume. Take it gently, build up slowly. Build up steadily and only move on when they are completely relaxed and confident with all your ridiculousness.
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MIXING STAYS AND COSTUMES
Once they are calmly wearing things reintroduce the stay command. Again start with reeeealy short stays, half a second or so. Things should go quickly now, and soon you will hopefully have a pet posing so that you can take pictures.
A FEW VIDS FROM GISH 2021
Steve is the best cat in the world
EXTRA TIPS
PLATFORMS
In animal training we use platforms a lot. They can make it clearer to the animal where it needs to be and often look good in photos too.
Here Hardly is standing on a skateboard. That’s a pretty advanced platform. It moves! That would take quite a bit of training for a sensitive animal. But maybe you have a pretty rug at home, a cute chair or even a cardboard spaceship (with GISH you never know). Backgrounds make GISHpoints!
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CREDITS
This article was made super awesome by Pi, Koschka, Frank, Steve, Okapi, Hardly and Lexie.
JANE CURTHOYS
Jane is a veteran Gisher, coffee book contributor, and professional animal trainer, though she mostly currently works as an artist making weird things for money.
